Nature Heals / My Panic Attack
Nature heals when pondering decisions, solving problems, getting through waves of grief, handling stress and anxiety, personal upheaval, and all the waves of life we ride on the journey.
When I was a young adult, I experienced a massive panic attack.
It was terrifying, and I was afraid I would die. I had no idea what was happening to me. I thought for years that I had smoked a joint that was laced with another drug. It wasn't until I realized that I've had anxiety since I was a little kid and learned about how panic attacks happen that I was able to see that it was no joint laced with something that put me in that state. It was a full-blown, massive panic attack.
It took me WEEKS to recover from that anxiety attack. I couldn't be around people at all. The only place I felt safe and remotely connected to myself was outside. I was living in Portland, OR at the time, and I would drive up to Mt.Hood every few days, and that was where I felt the best, like I knew I'd be ok. When I descended back into Portland from the mountains, the dread and apprehension would return, and when I got to my apartment, I felt the walls closing in. I'd have to go back outside and walk around the neighborhood or head up to Mt.Tabor park, which was nearby.
Time does — indeed — heal, and I fully recovered but with an acute awareness that I didn't want that to happen again. You know it did happen again, though, only in a different place and different circumstances.
However, what didn't change was how I chose to assist myself in coming back to the ground from experience. I fully immersed myself in nature.
Have you had an experience similar? If so, what did you do? How did you help yourself come back to the ground in your body?
Anxiety attacks are destabilizing for the central nervous system and disembodying for the person experiencing it. I've never felt so disconnected from my body as I did during those anxiety attacks. I barely felt IN my body, but without floating above it like you hear some people's experience.
